Nov 9, 2005

Foreign-returned

Came across this e-mail forward long ago. Had a good laugh at it first, then realized
"Hey, I am also supposedly in the 'wrong' side". Now, I am trying to defend all those NRI's, esp. from US..
The 'accusations' are in white and my response in yellow.

Top 21 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".

21.Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
Reminds of Madhavan from Anbe Sivam? Dabbunna cardu, maamu.. Yaaru kanda.. cash kodutha kevalama parthalum paappango.. India munnerittu irukupa..

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

mm... enga kashtam engalukku.. Kandadhai saptu valvu pudungiduchunna azhuvuradhu yaru?


19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
Idhai IRI's panradhillaiya?

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
mm.. Even if I sneeze when I am alone I say so.. adhellam manners-pa... nee thummuna saamy unnai aaseervadhikkattum-nu solluvomla..

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi". Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds". Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi". Says
"Candy" instead of "Chocolate". Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit". Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go". Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)
Adhellam pazhakka dhosham.. Lift-ai koodathan Elevator-nu solluvom.. If you are in Rome, you have to be a Roman, no?

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing everytime he steps out.
Enna panradhu? Appadi keduthu vachirukkom namma... Kinathu thavalaiya irundha appadithan theriyum.. Konjam
pollution-ai control-le vaingappa..


15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
Inge vandhappo naanga patta avadhi engalukkuthaaney theriyum..

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43).
heheheh... adhellam NRIconomics..

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
Paal kudikkira ellarum Dhoni madhiri irukka mudiyuma.. konjam gavanikkama vutta appuram David Boon madhiri agavendiyadhudhan.. 0% fat kanna..

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to
get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
Zee TV, Zee TV-nnu onnu irukkey.. adhu endha naatulengo?

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"
Appadi panna too much.. I still write in my personal notes using 'British style'.

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
Pinne.. IST=Indian Stretchable Time-nu ayiduchey.. Our railway minister says our trains are on time 99.8%.. do u agree? I think he is converting six sigma to stretchable sigma.. :-)
Roads? Idhai velinattule irundhu vandhu naanga fun pannanuma? Medavakkam high road-le travel panni ennoda backbone poye pochu...

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
Appadi pannaa thookka maathirai koduthu padukka vainga... "Toooo much" category..

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
Again valvu problem... Namma kashtam nammalukku...

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
Edhai kudicha enna, Coke-na coke-dhaaney.. Neenga ulloor goli soda-vukku badhila coke kudikkalam... naanga coke-ku badhila diet coke kudikka koodatha? Idhu enna gnayam?

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
Heard of Mullah's "Camel in a tent" story? Nalla vishayathai sonna adhu thappa theriyudhu.. mm..

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
Again, Rome-Roman thing.. namma accent-ai vachu inge Americans-ai paada paduthunadhu yarukku theriyum?

4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Coke, pepsi-leye insecticides, germs ellam irukku... Dhaba food-na kekkanuma? joot..

Few more important

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India,
even after 4 months of arrival.
Adhu sari.. Chennai to Bangalore Jet airways travel pannaley adhai neenga kazhatta maattenga.. naanga edhukku velai menakettu stickers ellam kizhikkanum? Enna, vayitherichala? Adhoda, andha stickers-ellam romba strong-ana glue kannu.. kashtappattu cut pannanum.. yaarukku time irukku? enn, kannai uruthudha?

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Pazhakka dhosham.. Luggage adura aattathule kaiyile thookktitu nadappanga.. vere vazhi?

Ultimate one

1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

When I talk to anyone returning from India, the conversation starts with "In India.." or "When I was in India...".. We miss India, dudes..


Check out the blogs of the Indians living in US... Atleast one post would be on how much they miss India.. And those who are just about to leave to India, one can see how happy he/she gets on visiting our country.. And the enthu while coming back will be far less.. unless there is a family waiting here or something. Contrary to what Indians think, we miss India more than we would miss US if and when we are in India.

17 comments:

ada-paavi!!!! said...

raju, after reading a few NRI blogs, i realise they miss home, some of their children follow indian traditions way more than people here do, but arent ppl like u in the minority?

i have this frnd who went to New york, when she came bck she aced exactly like u said, she even had difficulty pronouncing my name - she called me SHREEEE-WATSON, this mail probably refers to people like her, and not people like you, or NRI bloggers whom i know.

Nitin said...

yeah, most of the things i dont do when i go back to india. adhu ellam inge sellum, ange totally different person. i went to chennai last year, after 4 yrs, and i left everything american about me back here. The only thing is avoided drinking water from anywhere outside my house, drank pepsi, but no outside water. i drank once when i went to my friends house, and that night i got severe stomach ache.

Nitin said...

so indians had a pretty good victory against srilanka, even without key players. good to see yuvraj in form. i want to see some runs from sehwag and sachin.

Raju said...

Vatsan, well.. it depends.. In general, I have seen that women miss India more than men. Of the women who like US more, a considerable fraction belongs to those who are comfortable being away from in-laws. People who are too much money-oriented of course love US more; Gujaratis like US, again bcos of business and the large community. But, among my friends, I have seen more people missing India. While few of the positives here are honest working environment, infrastructure, standard of life, and good people, negatives are- being away from dear ones, heavy homework, complicated medical system and the culture.

LOL at your friend.. idhudhan Peter vuduradhu... They dont realize that they irritate more people than they please..
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Nitin, mm.. after the IT boom, a US-returned Indian is no big deal.. so many people just behave casually.. As you said, water problem will take some time to get sorted out..

And, on cricket, yes.. It was a convincing victory.. Yuvraj played a mature innings from a tricky situation.. About Sachin and Sehwag, mmm.. hope they do well in the remaining matches.. they get good starts but unable to convert them to big scores.. Sachin has returned to his 'either big 50 or less than 20' scores..

Balaji said...

funny. but i'm also glad i don't do even 1 of those things! parents and relatives r real proud of me for that too :)

Me too said...

Ya, this is an old forwarded message. These days, people back home do almost all of those listed!!

Raju said...

Balaji, nice.. I hope not to do any of these things too..
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Aparna, I also thought about it.. What to call it, progression, or bandha?

kalai said...

hahaha....ROTFL!!! sueper badhil adi!!! keep it up! :)

btw, neengalum medavakkam high road aa??? :)

NaiKutti said...

raju, kalakitinga...

i think there are enuf jobless creating such ant-NRI or NRI-bashing articles... i wonder what they achieve out of it... if only they had put their thoughts towards some constructive work things could be better...

Vanathi said...

Hahaha... Funny post...

visithra said...

I think Vatsan put it well - it was meant for some ppl not all. But love ur answers ;p so funny

Prabu Karthik said...

elaryum apdi sollida mudiyaadhu.

my friend in US.. ingey vanda 100% local a maariduvaan...( nimmaidya vijay padam, kuthu dance etc)

also that fellow is lucky he will never get any sickness jet lag etc.

ennamo madurai poittu vanda madhiri he will be roaming chennai/cbe from day 1.

but entertaining mail and yr answers were even more entertaining:)

Raju said...

Kalai, :-) Thanks.

Yes, that notorious Medavakkam high road.. that too all the way till Madipakkam.. Whenever I visit my parents, the journey was truly 'unforgettable'.. More than my B'lore-Chennai journey, this segment was so terribly bad, I decided to walk from St. Thomas Mount all the way.. Good early morning walk.. But, after sometime, the dust level was unbearable.. *SIGH*.. enakkum andha road-kkum ezham porutham.. I heard that it has got better now..
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Karthik, nandri.. Yeah, I agree with you..

It is a human nature that, whenever we see a change, we tend to speak about it, right? e.g., there was a big change for me when I moved from Madurai to Bangalore.. so I would be drooling about B'lore all the time.. That doesnt mean that I am showing off, illaiya? Vaayai thirakka vida maattangaley..
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Vanathi, another one-line comment from you.. :-)

Raju said...

Vis, I agree with you and Vatsan.. but, when I read this mail, I had a hearty laugh.. then I imagined myself as Anniyan in Nehru statium being accused/asked like this.. (though I havent visited India after coming here and I am not a boaster in phone either..) So, some answers as Ambi, and some answers as Anniyan.. :-)
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Prabu, Welcome here!! Thanks..
LOL at your friend.. I wish to be like that.. In fact, I tell my wife that, the moment I land in India, I would straight go to a roadside 'mobile shop' and eat samosa/dosa whatever.. Whatever has to happen, let it get merged with jet-lag, if any, and afterwards, I would have fun.. :-)

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