Oct 19, 2005

Free-ya vidunga

(Pic adopted from Webulagam)

Sonia Agarwal, in her latest interview to Kumudam, has expressed her opinion about what she wants from her fiancee.. I found this piece quite interesting..
Husband avar meley mattum piriyam vaichirukkanum
Naan romba possessive
En husband-kitte vere oru ponnu pesinaa kooda enakku pidikkadhu
Naan avarai 'aadhikkam' seyya virumburenn
Nalla velai.. Selvaraghavan thappichar.. :-) Idhellam Sonia-voda personal wishes.. I will refrain from commenting except saying that "Oru Gents' college lecturer, or better oru Boys' school teacher romba arumaiyana poruthama irukkum... "

There are two types of people who are over-possessive about the spouse:

1) Sonia-madhiri kalayanathukku munnadiye ippadi oru decision eduthuruvanga..
2) Kalayanathukku appuram dhideernu ippadi prachnai pannuvanga (Reason could be insecureness or the spouse's apparent flirting).

Both translate to a disasterous married life, unless one of them changes completely. Ennoda oru friend nalla jovial type.. work place-le ellar koodayum sagajama pesuvaar.. but wife munnadi gupchip.. rendu moonu couples ukkarndhu pesittu irukumbodhu ivar either silent-a iruppar.. illey pasanga kooda mattum pesittu iruppar.. Yaravadhu penn kooda pesuna paavam.. veettukku ponadhum varuthu eduthuduvanga.. But wife avangaloda friends kooda phone, e-mail, pechu ellam panradhu undu.. Avaroda personality-ye maariduchu..

Indha kaalathuley Sonia- madhiri over-possessiveness aagadhunga.. for both hubby and wife. Konjam free-ya vidanum..


lakshmi said...


Arjuna_Speaks said...

hmm sonia is quite a good option for me :P - I like possessive women - there is a level of sensuality in being possessive!the dark side of women :)

Raju said...

Lakshmi, enna hmm? Enna solla varreenga?

Arjuna, ennadhu? Sonia good option-a? Idhu over-possessive case.. Sensuality-yavadhu onnavadhu.. Pudhupudhu Arthangal-le Geetha range-ku dark side kaattina theriyum ungalukku. Aano penno, possessiveness ellam oru limit-odadhan irukkanum. :-)

Nitin said...

heh.i think there should be a limit to possessiveness in every married couples life. if there is over-possessiveness, i think they don't truly love each ohter, and shouldn't have gotten married. I thought Sonia Agarwal is going to marry Selvaraghavan. btw Raju, have you checked out the stills of Pudhupet? looks good, i hear some people saying its kinda like the movie City of Gods, hopefully, its not an exact copy, but City of Gods was good movie.

Narayanan Venkitu said...

Very true Dr.Phil...I agree. That would be the success to married life. Unfortunately.. most people are like this.!!

Sonia Agarwal - I wish her the very best in life.!! I hope she gets a nice hubby.!! Thank God..I am married..:)!

tt_giant said...

i agree.. romba posessive ellam irundhaa kadi!.

@Narayanan: Dr. Phil!.. LOL!!

visithra said...

venkitu sir sohlama sohlrar avar great catchnu ;p

ehlameh balanceah irundhadhan good - too much of anything is bad ;)

Raju said...

Nitin, mmm.. limit to possessiveness.. combining my last two posts.. LOL.. Well.. the definition of 'love' gets often blurred when other things like liking, possessiveness, caring, etc. come into picture. In India, where most marriages are arranged, one gets to freely talk to the other person (about this kind of sensitive issues) probably only after they both agree to the proposal. IMHO, they are more interested in exploring the other person's wishes, interests, hobbies, etc. These issues slowly creep up only after the 'honeymoon period' ends.

No, I havent checked the stills of Pudhupet yet.. I havent seen 'City of Gods' as well. I have some trust on Selvaraghavan to make a good movie so I would better wait for the movie to get released.

Narayanan, naan eppovavadhu ungalai 'sir' pottu kooppittirukkena? Indha Dr.Phil ellam edhukku? (kaalai vaarreengala?) :-) "Most people are like this" is a very sad and bad thing. Spouse enna property-ya, own panradhukku?

Neenga solradhai partha naanum Vis-madhiri yosikka vendiyiriukku.. :-)

Raju said...

Deepak, kadinna saadharana kadiya irukkadhu.. Gator kadi madhiri irukkum.. :-)

Ph.D. = Dr. Phil ellam andha kaalam.. enakkennamo adhu apt-a irukkunnu theriyala.. Time they change the degree name to something like D. Chem (Doctor of Chemistry), etc.. Namakku philosophy ellam onnum theriyadhu.. :-)

Vis, I agree with you about Venkitu sir.. (ennai Dr.Phil-nu kooppittadhukku payback time) :-)

Indha balance, limit ellamey differ for different people.. I think it is better the couple talk it out to each other openly before marriage to sort these things out..

thennavan said...

Possessiveness paththi indha Cartoons paarthu enjoy pannunga: http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/p/possessiveness.asp


Raju said...

Thennavan, very funny cartoons.. 2 much.. :-)

mitr_bayarea said...

Raju: well stated. Husband and wife relationshiple complete trust irutha there is no room for any sort of possessiveness. But,many times it is natural for both partners to feel a streak of atleast slight possessiveness at different times-for instance, when a husband praises some other woman extrava for her cooking or when a wife compliments another man a little too much for his doemstic helping skills etc.

Healthy possessiveness irutha relationship nalla irukum, but one should be aware that it doesn't affect extremes. I have a close friend whose boy friend reads every email of hers, even the ones from girls,and ithellam love panra stageleye. The guy is so damn possessive about her, now that its changed the relationship between us too.

Me too said...

Possessiveness is mostly due to insecurity. Such people need extra assurance, care and attention.

Vara-vara, indha 'word verification' romba perisa poyindirukku!!

Ram.C said...

interseting comments by Sonia.. this over possessiveness will continue forever, Raju. You didn't wonder 'Indha kaalathileyum...'... May be the tone may reduce in future, but will definitely exist...

Raju said...

Mitr, I agree completely with you about 'complete trust' part. And the two examples you have mentioned are very apt to the modern society... Not all married women cook well, and not all husbands help the working wife in household chores.

Now, in your few sentences, the terms like 'streak of atleast slight possessiveness' and 'healthy possessivenes' scale differently to different people and therein lies the problem..

Aps, 'Amen' for your mention about insecurity. Parents, the people one meets in the childhood, friends, socio-economic factors all these have a role in defining how much insecure one person feels. The partner needs to do a lot of analysis over a period of time to understand as much as possible, to minimize any problems due to the possessiveness.

'Word verification'.. hahaha.. sometimes I get five letters nicely spread-out, sometimes 8 letters all compressed and hard to tell the difference b/w q and g.

Ram, I think this has something to do with the parting away of Sonia and Selvaraghavan.. Neenga enna solreenga? It is sad to realize that, as you mentioned, the over-possessiveness is there to stay.

TamilPonnu said...

Where does TRUST come in?

paavam sonia's future hubby..

Raju said...

Tamilponnu, welcome here !!
Over-possessiveness sweeps away trust, love, understanding and mutual respect.


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