Kay Bee See

(Pic adopted from Rediff)

I was watching 'Who wants to be a millionaire' after a long time y'day. Its ripped-off version in Hindi is gonna re-enter as KBC-3, hosted by Shahrukh. I observed the sharp difference between the American and the Indian versions. The host here just pretty much asks the qn., the participant responds, and she immediately responds if it is right or wrong. On the other hand, what a drama in Hindi!! I used to dream of participating in KBC, 6 years ago.. now, when I think of the following scenario, I better wont..

To choose a contestant, he asks "Arrange from thin to fat, the following A-class celebrities: Aishwarya Rai, Adnan Sami, Amitabh Bachhan, Akshay Kumar.

Hard to beat me in this kinda stats.. so I quickly press the buttons and Bingo!! Mine are the fastest fingers.. (Gud I forgot to cut my nails)

Shahrukh: Hello Mr. Raju, welcome to KBC-3.. Do u know that I acted in a movie with ur name in the title? huhuhuhu (typical Shahrukh laughing-TSL)

Me: Yeah Shahrukh ji, I know.. 'Raju Bangaya Gentleman'

SRK: Haan.. gud gud gud.. after today's show, everyone will say 'Raju bangaya karorpati'.. *TSL*.

Me: Really? hehehehehehe..

SRK: *Explains the rules of the show yeda yeda yeda* "R u ready?"

Me: ya..

SRK: Sure?

Me: yes..

SRK: Confident?

Me: *Puzzled* (Did he ask any qn. already?)

SRK: Ok.. here is ur first qn..

Me: *Thank God.. I thought I dozed off"

SRK: Here is ur first question, who is India's Prime Minister? a) Harbhajan Singh, b) Sonia Gandhi, c)Manmohan Singh d) Natwar Singh..

Me: *Raising hand* I know I know, I know the answer.. I will tell the answer..

SRK: Mr. Raju.. dont be a nerdy kid in a crowded class.. Only u r here to answer this qn.. plz.. calm down .. sit and answer..

Me: hehehe.. it is c) Manmohan Singh

Sure? Sure... Confident? Confident..

SRK: Computer ji.. plz lock c) Manmohan Singh and tell me if Raju got it right or wrong.. and then starts staring at me ..

Me: *OMG.. I gave a politically correct answer.. Dont tell me it is b), which is technically correct... God, oh God! Save me!*

SRK: Correct answer...

Me: *Appada*.. Me too start clapping appreciating myself..

SRK: U have the next qn.. Who penned 'Ramayana'? a) Vyasa b) Valmiki c) Vashishta d) Vikramaditya.

Me: The answer is b) Valmiki..

Sure? sure.. Confident? confident.. Shall I lock? Plz lock..

SRK: OK Computer ji.. plz lock b) Valmiki.. *After staring at me, and sowing seeds of some soul-searching inside me, says "right answer.." *SIGH*

OK.. u have won 3,000 rupees now, the question that would win u 5,000 rupees is.. What is the chemical formula for water? a) H2O; b) NaCl; c) H2O2 and d) NaOH.

Me: My profession is chemistry.. :D I know the answer well.. it is a) H2O..

Sure? Sure.. confident? confident.. Shall I lock? plz lock.. OK Computer ji.. Mr. Raju confidently says it is a) H2O.. Sometimes even experts make mistakes.. Has he made one? *What the bu*#$%#&it? Check it out after this small break.. Plz dont go away..

Me: *Idhu vereya? kadavuley.. mmm.. sari*

After the break, SRK repeats the qn., tells my answer and, after a few secs of staring at the monitor "yes he is right.. Indeed it is a) H2O...

*Claps all around, and I clap as usual*

SRK: Good start, Mr. Raju.. here is the next qn.. Which of these following nations is not an immediate neighbor of India? a) Pakistan b) Nepal c) Afghanistan and d) Srilanka.

Me: mmmm... I think it is c) Afghanistan..

Sure? sure.. Confident? confident.. Shall I lock? Plz lock..

SRK: Ever been to any of these countries, Mr. Raju?

Me: Heck, no..

SRK: hmmm.. and still u r confident enough about ur answer?

Me: *DUH?* oh ya..

SRK: OK Computer ji.. plz lock c) Afghanistan for Raju.. After a pause, Afghanistan is the right answer.. u have won 10,000 rupees..

Me: heheheh.. *CLAPS*

SRK: Now, if you answer ur next question, u will win Rs. 20,000 and that is a sure money for u..

Me: :D

SRK: The next qn. is: Which of these is not in the family of the other three? a) Raj Kapoor b) Kareena Kapoor c) Rishi kapoor and d) Anil Kapoor.

Me: Hmmm.... d) Anil Kapoor..

Sure? sure.. Confident? confident.. Shall I lock? Plz lock..

SRK: OK Computerji.. plz lock d) Anil Kapoor for Mr. Raju.. His face expressions change.. Oh Mr. Raju.. u have won so far Rs. 10,000 rupees.. Amm I right? Me: Yes.. SRK: U had the option to quit now and escape with those 10000 rupees but u decided to take a gamble, rite? Me: Yes.. SRK: *Staring deeeep in my eyes.. * (I feel something wrong) your gamble has paid off..

Me: *Uffffff*

SRK: Relieved huh? Hmm.. now 50K worth qn. is.. Which of these teams has never lost to India in the World cup matches? a) Australia; b) South Africa; c) New zealand d) Srilanka.

Me: I am a bigtime cricket fan.. I know it is b) South Africa..

Sure? sure.. Confident? confident.. Shall I lock? Plz lock..

SRK: Oh Mr. Raju.. u still had all 3 of ur lifelines.. you could have chosen to use any of them.. but, u decided to trust ur instinct instead.. ahhhh... (ayyo.. ennayya solre?) and, it hasnt let u down.. That indeed was right.

Me: *Idhai munnadiye solli tholaikkavendiyathu thane?* CLAPS

SRK: Next qn. for Rs. one lakh 25K NOW.. Which of the following is not a raaga in Carnatic music?

a) Paadi; b) Pavani; c) Pallavi or d) Poorvi

Me: *Ayyayyo... enakkum sangeethathukkum eni vachalum ettadhu.. enna qn. idhu?* mmmm.. I am not very familiar with carnatic music.. but I know that 'Pallavi' forms part of a song, so I think it cant be a raaga.. not sure though.. 'Paadi' sounds lil odd.. I am doubtful about it.. OK.. I will get my first lifeline.. Will get the help of the audience...

SRK: Audience? *GRINS* Ok audience, plz help Mr. Raju out..

Me: *This grin doesnt look right..*

Audience cast their poll, and after watching the screen, SRK's grin grows wider as if he says "I know I know I know"

SRK: The audience have voted.. Paadi - 29%; Pavani - 21%; Pallavi - 32%; Poorvi - 18%.

I turn around and think "I s'd have only known better" but still claps with hands held high, with a wry smile and looking around..

Hmmm.. the verdict isnt clear... so, hmmm.. I will try my luck with another lifeline.. I want to narrow down my choices with 50:50..

SRK: OK.. wise decision to take, in situation like this.. *Another grin*..

I think "now what? Whaz in store for me?" My heartbeat starts shooting over the roof.. and I see to my horror, in-remain a) Paadi and c) Pallavi. SRK cant contain his wide broad grin and I almost go "Oh S#*t ". Sweat starts forming on the forehead and I know that I am slowly getting trapped.. "OK.. I will use my third option as well.. I dont have the choice.. Lemme fone my friend"

SRK: Whom do you wanna call?

Me: My friend "XYZ"

SRK: Is he knowledgeable in music?

Me: I pray so..

Whatever happens afterwards, it turns out that phoning a friend doesnt help either.. I have to make the hard choice.. and I choose after much deliberation c) Pallavi..

Sure? sure... Confident? confident... Shall I lock it? Plz do..

SRK: Ok Computer ji.. plz lock for Mr. Raju, c) Pallavi..

Hmmm.... u were sailing along so smoothly and then came this question to thwart you.. You tried all the three lifelines but none could help you with a clear-cut answer.. and you had to rely on your own instinct..

*My heart is pumping blood so fast I have never xperienced anything like it b4.. I sweat profusely; I try my best to hide my nervousness but i end up smiling stupidly.. My body starts shivering... I plead "Oh god.. inimey indha pakkamey thalai vachu padukka maattenn.. let this torture end at this very moment.." I am unable to hear what SRK is going on talking.. all I can hear is clapping all around, which brings me back to my senses..

SRK: OK.. u r still in game.. now, the Rs. 2 lakh 50 Kques..

Me: Ayya samy.. aalai vidunga.. 2 lakh ille 20 lakh win panni adhai appadiye kondu poi doctor kitte kondu poi kodukka virumbaley.. Indha 1 lakh-ai kodunga.. naan odi poyiduren.. Enn idhai 'hot seat'-nu solreengannu ippo enakku puriyudhu.. enakku panamum onnum venam..